Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
