But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize