i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Randomize
