using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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