is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
