I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
