You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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