Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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