i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
