Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
