I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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