I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize