turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
