is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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