She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
