SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
A+ Viking dick
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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