do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
