I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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