like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
