my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
