Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
