Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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