The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Of course I have a pirate flag
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
