My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
