Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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