wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
