i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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