im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
