It's like God shit irony all over that family
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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