sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
