U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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