Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize