I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize