okay pat passed out under dana's car
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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