dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
