Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
