We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
