Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
