best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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