New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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