I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize