I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
