Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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