He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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