Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
