So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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