Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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