I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize