Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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