Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
