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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."

  (817): View more from Texas

  I was drunk but it's true

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo

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• (818): View more from California

  He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  enjoy it.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  She's writing hockey erotica again.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.

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