it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
