I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
