I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
