I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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