we have pet lesbian snakes
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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