There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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