I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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