So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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