I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
