This dress was meant to end up on your floor
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
