So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize