I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize