Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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