I think my fart just growled at me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
