haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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