I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
