I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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