She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
