It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
