Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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