i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
