you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm bleeding and have questions
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
