I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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