bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
