Got a toothbrush?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
